Jackie Murphy
G. Dip AAB / A. Dip AAB (Canine) / MISAP (Beh) / MEST (QTLS)
Specialist Dog Training
Nearly 20 years ago, I wrote a blog about dogs being allowed to run up to other dogs without permission. Sadly, I am still seeing exactly the same problem today.
The familiar shout of, “Don’t worry, my dog is friendly!” of “Don’t worry they are only coming to say hello!” does not make the situation safe or acceptable. Your dog may be friendly, but the dog they are approaching may not want to interact—and they should not have to.
Not Every Dog Wants to Say Hello
It is a mistake to assume that every dog wants to meet, play with or be approached by another dog. Dogs are individuals. Some enjoy the company of selected dogs, while others prefer space.
The dog being approached may:
- Be nervous or frightened of unfamiliar dogs.
- Be recovering from an operation, injury or illness.
- Be elderly, sore or less tolerant than they once were.
- Have previously been attacked.
- Be in training for reactivity or calm behaviour.
- Be an assistance dog who is working.
- Be young and easily overwhelmed.
- Simply not want another dog in their personal space.
The owner should not have to explain or justify any of this. If their dog is on a lead, being kept close or being moved away, give them space.
A “Friendly” Approach Can Still Feel Threatening
Your dog’s intention is only one part of the interaction. A dog that races directly towards another dog, stares, jumps on them or repeatedly tries to play may be behaving in a way that feels rude or threatening to the other dog.
Even if your dog means no harm, the other dog does not know that. They may feel trapped, particularly if they are on a lead and cannot move away. Their barking, growling or snapping may be an attempt to create the distance that your dog—and you—have failed to give them.
It is unfair to blame the dog that reacts when an unwanted approach has been forced upon them.
An Interaction Can Change in Seconds
Owners sometimes say, “They only want to say hello.” But you cannot guarantee how either dog will feel once they meet. The bottom line is dogs do not want to say “hello” that is a human conception.
One dog may become overexcited. Play may become too physical. A dog may feel crowded or try to leave, while the other continues to pursue them. A disagreement over space, a toy or attention can happen very quickly. Even a brief warning can develop into a fight when one dog cannot move away, or the other ignores its signals.
By the time an owner realises the interaction is going wrong, they may be too far away to intervene safely.
Calling out that your dog is friendly is not a substitute for reliable recall or responsible supervision.
Socialisation Does Not Mean Meeting Every Dog
Socialisation is often misunderstood. It is not about introducing a puppy or adult dog to as many dogs as possible. Repeatedly allowing a dog to rush over to unfamiliar dogs can teach them that every dog is available for play and that they do not need to listen to their owner.
It can also create frustration when they are eventually prevented from approaching. Some dogs then begin pulling, barking or lunging because they expect to greet every dog they see.
Good socialisation is about helping a dog feel calm and safe around the world. This includes teaching them that they can:
- Notice another dog without approaching it.
- Walk past dogs calmly.
- Focus on their owner around distractions.
- Return immediately when called.
- Play with suitable, carefully chosen dogs when both owners agree.
- Accept that some dogs are not available for interaction.
Quality is far more important than quantity. A few safe and appropriate experiences are more valuable than lots of uncontrolled greetings.
Responsible Ownership Means Preventing the Approach
If your dog may run up to another dog and you cannot recall them immediately, they should not be off lead in that situation. Use a lead or long line while you continue working on recall.
Before allowing any greeting, ask the other owner. If they say no, hesitate, move away or put their dog back on the lead, accept it without argument and call your dog away.
You should also call your dog back when you see:
- A dog on a lead.
- An owner creating distance or changing direction.
- A dog wearing a muzzle, assistance-dog jacket or “give me space” or “do not touch” equipment, or any type of indication the owner has attached to the lead, harness, collar or jacket.
- A dog or puppy being trained.
- A dog whose body language appears tense or uncomfortable.
Do not wait for the other owner to ask. Taking responsibility early prevents stress and gives everyone more space. Then everyone can enjoy the walk.
Why Are We Still Having the Same Problem?
Nearly two decades after I first wrote about this subject, owners are still dealing with uncontrolled dogs running up to them. Perhaps the phrase “my dog is friendly” has become an excuse for poor recall, or perhaps socialisation is still being confused with unlimited access to every dog.
Whatever the reason, we need to change the message. That should also be down to trainers and behaviourists.
Your dog does not have the right to approach every dog they see. Being friendly does not remove the need for training, recall and consideration. Responsible ownership means recognising that the other dog’s needs matter too.
Sometimes the kindest and most sociable thing your dog can do is simply pass another dog calmly and leave them alone.